i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
