Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
