girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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