All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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