Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So squirting runs in the family.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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