dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
