She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
