R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
