I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
