One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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