My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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