if i can run in heels then i can drive
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
