are you so shy because you have an std?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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