I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i believe in u and ur pee
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
