Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
