That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
