One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
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Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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