i think my mom watched the whole time
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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