did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
