you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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