In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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