as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
