Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
