Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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