I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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