You really coming over, don't trick.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts