Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
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Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i've created a new STD.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize