omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?