I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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