just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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