PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
