some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize