the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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