my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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