My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
