You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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