youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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