Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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