just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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