Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
