I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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