After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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