It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
True college students do jello shots in the library
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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