I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
