OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
