i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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