I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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