Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
