You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it glows. i had to have it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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