You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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