i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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