Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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