physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
