Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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