Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
