i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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