sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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