in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
