If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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