so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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