I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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