hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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