Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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