We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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