What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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